Where I've Been

Those of you who know me may have observed or been told by me that there has been a heaviness in my soul over the past several months and a struggle with God about a sadness within me. I felt restless for change. I was fairly quiet during our prayer request times in the fall semester and even now because of it. I couldn't put into words what I needed prayer for. I've been taking comfort in the Psalm below which explains where I'm at. The good news is I am moving out of this phase and find that I am bracing myself for change that God has been preparing me for.

Psalm 42
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?" These things I remember
as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.